Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Not What You Think

Can I create my own short form? Cos LOL is all played out. How about NWYT? Cos my absence isn't due to...well you get it.

IT WASN'T BECAUSE I STOPPED RUNNING!!

I ran that 3km race and then I kept on running. I ran a 5km race and kept on running. And the temperature dropped and I...stopped running. I swear it's not the usual kind of giving up; it wasn't for lack of motivation. It started because I didn't have the gear to run in colder temperatures and didn't have the money to buy anything warmer than the 10 year old calf length yoga pants that I wanted to retire for sudden butt modesty.  And then I found some cheap gear (running tights, running pants (okay, jogging pants aka house pants) and a shirt) but then it got even colder. And things have changed so drastically with the wee one that I don't know when to fit the run in!

AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE RECAP:

The baby has learned to sit up, learned to crawl, given up the boob, taken the bottle, fallen in love with yams, apples, pears and finally homus (spell it how you want yo, my local Lebanese restau spells it this way), is pulling to stand, understands to pet the cat gently and respect her space (only took being boxed once), loves music and dances to it, pretty much sleep through the night and is amazing to me every day! I love her so so much, and we have so much fun together that I thank my lucky stars that my hubby and I decided to have her. Or I am so glad we decided to have a baby and she is the person we get to raise. Whatevs.

I have joined a craft sale and am prepping for another, am taking a workshop kind of related to my field, joined my first sew-along and kept up for one week (see bit above about not knowing when to fit things in), have rediscovered 99% of my pre-pregnancy body (a bit extra remains in the belly district) and enjoyment therein, have had one anniversary and one awesome date with my husband. I have discovered that I need a lot more time to ponder things of significance.

*breath*

I have read some books that were a waste of my time and some that were so well written they could have been about paint drying and I would have been captivated just the same. One from each of the previous categories: former, The Golden Compass; latter, The Tender Bar. I read a book that made me laugh so hard I inhaled cider through my nose and then sprayed it out my mouth (Bossy Pants). I had my opinion of an author whose memoir I had just read and loved completely changed when I read her latest blog entry (It Sucked and Then I Cried). I learned to stop obsessing over my highschool rival's blog, and to not compare our successes, or her perceived thereof and my perceived lack thereof. And NOT by being a better, bigger person. (But the point is, I did it, right? ...Right??)

I watched Moonrise Kingdom and was as charmed as I had hoped I would be. I watched Cabin in the Woods and was disgruntled and disenchanted (except for that one scene with the elevators) until I gave it a good old think.  I have discovered new music (Santigold and Django Django and math rock)...

AND FINALLY

I keep promising to update this more often, to use it for more thinkerly pursuits (hey? Like that?) and maybe get to the bottom of some of my fears and stressers. Maybe be able to write about winter running. Maybe be more interesting to anyone who ever reads this... Who knows?!

Oh, and I watched the Sopranos for the first time. Didn't hate it.

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

VO2 Max

That's the handy (read: assy) shortform for the maximum oxygen you can intake and use during exertion. IE when you're running yer arse off. I'm working on it...along with my cadence, endurance, speed, stride and... anything else?

    So I can't remember what I last wrote about running but to recap, I had bought a pair of Merrels because they were on sale. Turns out they were lovely to walk in but hell to run in. Not their fault, I'm just not at the toe-stike running stage. Nor do I think I ever will be.  So I returned them and have since bought a sweet pair of transition shoes. Behold th Nike Free Run (possibly II):

  Bright enough for ya? Okay, but the thing is, the ones I got are even louder. I know, what?! Mine are limest green with hottest pink laces. They are so so SO ugly that I love them. The best part is they don't have a tongue as such- the shoe is kind of a sheath. So not quite like the ones pictured above...whatevs. They also lace up on a slight slant. Brilliant! They are super flexible but have a little bit of cushioning at the heel for when your feet get tired from being trained to land mid-stride. So far I've been able to run mid-stride fairly easily and no longer fear having to quit running due to knee injury. LOVE!

  So my first race is a week away. Wee pause for freak out: WHHAAT?!?! But it's all good. Since my last running post I have worked myself up to running 3km straight, no breaks, no intervals. To be honest I kind of skipped the last part of that couch to 5 km training regimen as I just wanted to run, you know?  So one night I put on my horrible old shoes and my great new watch and thought I'd run straight down my street to the end and loop back, with as few breaks as possible. Turns out it was 3km almost exactly! I ran 5 min intervals with a minute break that time and then the next time I just ran. The whole 3 km. With a handy sprint at the end! HOLLA!  It felt awesome to be able to run that without stopping; clearly I'm actually improving. Sweet deal. So now I'm working on increasing my speed- I went from 20 to 22 minutes the first few times to 18 minutes with my fancy new shoes. See? Fancy new shoes really DO make you run faster!  And ps the best part is these shoes were even cheaper than the Merrels-on-crazy-sale because they were last year's model. So awesome.

  Clearly I am obsessed with those shoes and with becoming a better runner.  In addition to running, I have also taken up strength training. This is to help prevent injury, but I'm just sayin' that to look serious. Really, the "strength training" is working out for 20 minutes to Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred. This is so that I can lose the rest of my baby weight by the end of this year...I was aiming for the end of this summer but that isn't really feasible and may not even be terribly healthy, what with the breastfeeding. So I'm trying to work on my abs, or lack thereof. Funny thing I discovered after doing the shred the first time? I will use any other muscle before I resort to using my abs. My abs didn't hurt AT. ALL. after that first work out but I could barely walk- cos my poor thighs took the hit! So now I'm trying really hard to isolate my abs, keep'em tight and work'em extra hard (that means crunches of all types on my rest days).

  Wait. I should be clear: I don't really care about losing weight but I would like to lose the extra inches I put on. And I'd like a nice, toned stomach. Also, a bigger butt. And smaller boobs. And world peace.

  So wish me luck in my race and I'll let you know how it goes...

Thursday, 26 July 2012

And so on

So. I'm reading A Feast For Crows, that is the 4th book in the Game of Thrones series. I am fed up with the whole thing. I don't give a care, to use an idiom.  But it got me to thinking: what of the afterlife?

  My stance is: there is none. To quote REM: "you die, you turn to dust." I don't know which came first, my disillusionment with christianity or my conclusion that science had it right: energy can neither be created nor destroyed.  So I think when you die you turn to dust and your energy is used elsewise...what happens to your "mind" I don't know. I personally think it disolves and moves on, energy wise. As a result, and as a result of having had a child, I think therefor: live every day as full as you can as the person you are, knowng that there is a finite end, whenever it may come. Because at a certain point, your life will come to an end.

  Heck, even if you belive in heaven, at a certain point your life as you know it will end. Is it not awesome? So live it to its fullest.

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Rock and roll all night

...because every day is taken up with the care of my wonderful almost-five-month old baby.  It's a trip:

  My baby girl is a blessing, not because my life would be less without her but because she is an addition that brings it to another level. I chose to try to have a child after years of being convinced that I didn't want to have kids. Heck, I still don't want to have kids. I want to have kid, singular, which is what I have. It is every individual's choice (or should be) to have or have not. Clearly there are factors that weigh in that may weigh against one's preference but what I am trying to say is people who choose not to have children should have their decision respected with as little thought as those who choose to have children are given. Do you know what I mean? People who choose to have children are seldom questioned as to the rightness of their decision. People who choose not to have children are always questioned. It's bullshit.  People who choose not to have children lead lives that are as full and complete as those who have children, it's just that they are different lives, different choices.

  Having a child teaches you selflessness. But it's not exactly as I thought it would be. It's not some saintly, altruistic, Mother Theresa kind of selflessness; rather, it's a sidelining of one's own wants and desires until such time as the baby's needs are met. It's all against my better will. And a baby's needs are LEGION. They are many, and they are constant. My husband and I haven't had enough time to ourselves, or to each other, since our baby has been born.  We talk about it, we weigh in, we bump heads and we shake hands, realising that this time in our kid's life is but a stage.  It's hard, it's very hard, but it will pass someday and will be gone. Take the video now, damn it!  Which brings me to the point of this post- I never write in my journal anymore. I miss it. It's as much a part of me as reading and spending time alone is. And yet I have effectively given it up in the past four months because I have been 24-7 busy with a tiny baby.  It makes me sad, but as with everything else, I figure its time will come again.  In the meantime, I blog. (And I dream of time alone. The dream gets more and more elaborate so that now, I am up to spending a week alone in an isolated cabin the woods. Heck, maybe I'll have to hunt for food, who knows.)

  My baby girl always wakes up happy.  This is an incredible thing, and it eases all stresses.  Even when I wake her prematurely from a spontaneous nap (which I should be taking full advantage of, but can't as I have houseguests to entertain) she is all smiles and laughs, albeit slower and with much blinking and head nodding.  She's a lovey, and she melts my heart every time I pick her up from her crib. I am very lucky and I know it. Plus she has super fun sticky-uppy hair.

  I am still petrified of dying and always will be I think. I was once foolish enough to think that having a child would cure that. Now I am petrified of death for two! I would be devastated if my husband were to die; I would be annihilated if my baby were to die. On the flipside (I can say no more on the subject of death), having a child doesn't shift my life's aim, it simply adds another parallel stream. I haven't given over my life for hers; she is joining the parallel streams alongside my husband, my mother, my sister and the rest of my extended and natural family.

...Now if I only had a job to go back to after mat leave!! (cue suspense music)

Monday, 25 June 2012

Fresh Air Experience

Heh, I stole that title from a store's name.

  So. A week ago I went running along my usual route, following the usual minutes run versus minutes walked but this time was different! This time I was wearing my fancy new watch to count my minutes for me AND I tried running mid-stride strike (I stopped in another running store to chat with them about zero-drop shoes etc and realised I had the wrong terminology. Whatevs).  It was a lot easier than I had expected and I mean physically easier! I could feel how there was less strain put on my body and that eventually I would be able to run quite a lot faster with the same amount of effort I had been putting into it previously to go fairly slowly. In terms of fighting my body's memory and habit of running heel-strike it was much more difficult but I figure that will come with time. And now that I have time (in the form of my handy watch!) I should be able to keep focus on my stride.

  And then, I was walking down the street, minding my own business when I bumped into a sidewalk sale at one of the local shoe stores. I gave it a glance as I passed, barely slowing my pace, until I saw this:
Porcelain Rose

  It's one half of my new pair of running shoes: the Merrell Lithe Glove in porcelaine rose. Gaggy colour but what an awesome shoe! They were a steal (almost half price!) and I still panicked about having spent the money, but after wearing them around the house a few times, my husband encouraged me to road test them. I walked in them a couple times and then this morning I decided it was time to get real about changing my running style. Time to commit.  So I laced'em up and headed out, following my usual route but dropping back to the first week of my training regimen, as all sources about transition running had decreed. (And what did I have to lose? I was only three weeks in! I figure those extra weeks were practice for my lungs.)

  I have to tell you, it was a little harder than when I first tried in my old trad shoes. I found I had to switch to landing mostly toes first, which I wasn't orginally going for, and I felt like a fool doing it (like a ballerina trying to jog, and I ain't so graceful as a ballerina, let me tell you) but I managed to get into the groove enough that it started becoming more habitual, that is I had to remind myself less often to run more forward-strikey.  Partly this is the shoes- there is so little cushioning that you have to compensate with your body- and partly because it still was physically easier. Maybe that's the wrong word. Maybe it wasn't so much easier as righter. More right? Whatevs, it felt pretty good, as if I should be running this way, even if I looked like a chump. (And I so regret the blip I read once about running your first race and how you should mind your form so you don't end up a bad example picture on the interweb- way to undermine my self-esteem!)

  And remember, I run with a stroller. And it ain't no B-O-B Revolution. (Does anyone else think of Outkast when the see how that brand is written: B-O-B?) Anyhoo. I've just had a bath to soothe my aching calves because this type if running uses your muscles WAY MORE at first, or ever, because heel-striking relies on your joints to absorb the shock, whereas toe-strike relies on your muscles to mitigate the impact.  Also, I have a wicked blister from these stupid tongue straps on the shoe (and I was running barefoot)- so gnarly the air breezing by hurts, grr. But tomorrow I rest (muscle-building exercises only). I feel I am on the right track and still have time to follow the couch-to5k training plan before my first 3k race!

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Triathlons and Tribulations

  It's been a while. AGAIN. But I swear this time I will blog more often, and that I will keep true to this oath- maybe because I start so many projects and don't finish them that I'd like to continue with this, give it a fighting chance. Although I don't like the changes they have made to the system...

  So, baby steps. One wee subject at a time, yes?  And this posting will be about me, not the baby.

  I've decided to take up running and I'm planning on running two races before winter: a 3km to start me off and the ArmyRun 5km.  My body has changed a lot since getting pregnant, clearly, and I'm not happy with all the changes. I loved being pregnant and seeing my body adapt to a growing fetus and I can cope with the fact that childbirth widened my hips.  What I do NOT appreciate are the 10 extra pounds I have around my middle. I have always been sensitive about my stomach (heck, and my boobs, but that's for another post) but I had lost all my baby fat and was in reasonable shape before I got pregnant. Post baby, I have some extra fat there and it's getting me down! Also, I quit smoking before I got pregnant and I'm worried that since I'm not pregnant anymore I may end up eating more to compensate for not smoking.  Don't get me wrong, I don't miss smoking and I am SO VERY GLAD to be past that part of my life, but the oral habit remains. Not to mention I can't rely on smoking to dampen my appetite.  Caveat: I am breastfeeding and don't want to take away form the nutrients my baby needs but I do want to stay fit and fit my old clothes as best as possible by the year's end, say.  A nice, safe, slow weight loss.

  So blah, blah, I've decided to take up running. I hate my running shoes and want to buy new ones and I am contemplating moving towards transition shoes.  These are shoes that are made much lighter than other shoes, with less padding and with less drop between toe and heel. This means that your foot is flatter than in traditional running shoes with crazy padded out heels. trad shoes were made that way to accomodate the great force of impact put on the heels during regular running (heel strike running). People are encouraged now to run with more of a mid-strike or even toe strike style- that is running so that your foot falls almost flat, or so that your run toes striking first. Imagine running barefoot (which this can lead to)- you'd run landing toes first yes?  Anyhoo, google mid-strike running and fill your boots.  I'm aiming for a midline shoe, with some support but not as much as before so that I can start running more mid-strike style.

Minimus 10 Trail Shoe
This be the shoe I am looking at (or a reasonable facsimile).  The New Balance Minimus 10, with 4mm drop.  They are kind of out of my price range right now, but if I manage to stick with running, I figure they will be an investment.  But first I have to re-learn how to run.  I figure it will be easy enough since I haven't been running for very long (I mean going jogging for exercise, rather than just randomly running, say for buses etc) but I wonder how long it will take for me to not have to concentrate on what my legs are doing so that I can concentrate on what my lungs are doing (I need to increase my oxygen volume thingy that real runners have a cute acronym for), amongst other things...  On the plus side, I did hook myself up with an ironman timex to help me count my reps of running v. walking (counting to 60 or 90 repeatedly gets awful boring awful quick, and again, I'm supposed to be counting by breaths and stuff!).  This way I can more easily track my time vx distance too, to make sure I am actually getting closer to being able to run the 3 km.

  More on my 3 km fears later. In the meantime, here's a link to the training program I'm following:
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

  Wish me luck!

Friday, 16 March 2012

Okay just checking.

Ok.  So. I had my baby, and it was amazing. Labour was intense and I did that for 36 hours, and then I decided that was that and called for the drugs. HOLLA!!! Thank goodness I did because I was able to enjoy the birth of my baby girl rather than try to fight through a pain I wasn' t actually able to fight through.

  Granted, if it was back in the day, I would probably have been taught how to breathe through  and just suck it up, but since I didn't practice the breathing and everything, I failed....I caved and asked for the epidural. BEST decision I ever made.  And since I was led to believe that the epidural was the devil's gift, I am here to set you straight on child birth and child rearing.

  I never wanting kids but love the one I have. Childbirth was awesome- I loved giving birth to my baby girl, but the contractions were awful and I won't have any woman believe anything else. Contractions are harsh, labour is harsh...the first 2 weeks of life are harsh for a newborn and  a new mom/dad. Anyhoo, all I want to post is, the 1st two weeks suck beyond belief, and the rest is managebable...managbale...manageable...:)  (The fatigue is something else!)